( WARNING: Contains scenes of mild peril, spousal snowball impact, and infant distress. )

Why is it that people with beliefs that I respect so often don’t actually practice those beliefs? I am time and again frustrated and upset by people that express a core belief structure that really resonates with me…something with which I really connect…time and again I find myself disillusioned by those same people.

Yesterday, an author and female that I respect as something of a self-professed feminist posted this picture with the associated text as follows: “This is the single manliest image evar. @justbeast’s dad at age 18”.

If you don’t immediately see the problem, don’t fret—I will be happy to explain it ad nauseam below the cut...

Tags: life, rant
Current Mood: frustrated

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Back in your school days (assuming you went to school) was there a sort of Truce Word that you could say in order to pause whatever was going on, or opt out of it for a moment?

For example, if I were in a fight with another boy, I might say 'Hang on a sec, *truceword*' so I could take my glasses off, and then we'd go back to thumping one another. There would be no stigma or connotation of cowardice.

Did your school playground have a truce word? If so, what was it?

2009 was a really rough year for me. My theme for the year was simplicity but it was anything but. I got rid of one mooching boyfriend only to take in another. The 2nd one broke into my house and smashed a window, lovely. I moved cross-country to a place I never thought I would live again -Los Angeles. I still am not quite sure what the hell I'm doing here. I toyed with the idea of getting out of the business completely and being a secretary or something completely normal. Then I delved deeper in the adult business than ever before. It was something I had always wanted to do and I'm glad i did it, i just wish things had turned out differently. I was never able to get good representation and my ego simply couldn't take being put in MILF and old lady porn, especially since I don't look as old as I am.

It's sad to me how many of the stereotypes about the business really are true. It's even sadder to me that there are still men who think that just because you fuck on film, you should fuck whomever asks. What kills me is they have the nerve to get indignant and insulting when you refuse. I'm pretty certain someone insulting me has never gotten me hot and bothered. A lover once called me a bitch in bed and i hit him in the face. Maybe these other girls don't care or go along with it because (1) they really are that horny and can't get enough cock (2) it's easier to go along with it and get it over with.

I showed work at Cinekink NYC, The Dirty Show (Detroit, LA), Berlin and Kiel, Germany. I spoke at the last two events. Going to the festivals and watching erotica all day was frustrating. Luckily the last night in Berlin I was able to release some of that tension. I fucked on the streets of Berlin and a week or so later all around the city of Kiel. It was awesome. I love European men and that they appreciate women with curves. I can't stand the American stick figure ideal, it's not sexy to me at all.

Aside from my Germany trip, doing porn really fucked up my sex drive for a while. There was a point where the only sex I was having was on film, which is never how I wanted it. I spent way too much time and invested too many emotions on someone who only wants to live in a fantasy world. I live in the real world. Talk is cheap, I can't have people in my life who don't follow through.

I formed some great friendships with women who I respect and adore. This is the first time in my life that i have more female friends than male friends. i am enjoying this female community with no agenda other than to make us all the best we can be and doing what we can to help each other get there. It's a beautiful and inspiring thing. Klawdya Rothschild, Emily Tyrant, Mistress Delilah, Mistress Vivian, and of course, Zenova Braeden and Aiden Starr -you guys all rock!

My theme for 2010 is productivity. It's time to finally get down to business and make that my focus. My business has always been trudging along but now it's time to really make it go. I have things in the works already for next year that are very exciting. It's all about refocusing my energy on the things that really matter. Love is not an option. Friends and lovers, fine. Anything more than that is too involving and distracting.

I'm feeling more inspired and motivated than I have in a really long time. A couple weeks ago I felt like I couldn't get any lower, but as always I've risen up again. Life may fuck with me, I may make bad decisions from time to time but i'm a survivor, I always will be. It's time to do more than survive, though. Next year I want to really make my mark. Thanks to all of you who have always been there to support me. Good things are going to happen, I can feel it.

-Julie Simone

i'm putting my Youtube Channel back up, though I'm already having problems with them. They rejected a smoking sample clip. There's no nudity, there's no logical reason I can find that would make them reject the clip.

My original channel was permenently deleted for a really tame clip with a model that was fully clothed. i can't find a link to email a real person to say WTF? and get an explanation so it doesn't get deleted again. It takes a lot of time and effort to get these things going, i'd rather avoid getting it taken down again, if possible.

any tips, ideas, links would be most appreciated.

Thanks
Julie Simone

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Among many other wonderful things, I got a wand for Christmas.

It's a very clever electronic wand that works as a universal remote. You can teach it to emulate the functions of other remotes you own.

I now adjust the volume on the TV by slowly rotating my wand, and change channels by giving a quick upward or downward flick.

I now realise I have always wanted to do this.

Current Music: the sound of how awesome I am