From Mayhem, subject, "I" body of the email, "Love your work like a fat kid loves chocolate cake."

It's from a male model, so I am not going to respond but it was funny, though totally not right, and I had to share it.

My "no interaction with male models" rule comes from the unfortunate fact that every single male model (except the one gay one) who I have interacted with has tried to have sex with me. They write and say, "Hi there, I'm looking to get some couples shots in my portfolio, I think our looks go well together." or, "I have some contacts who like your look, they'd like to take some couples shots of us." I used to respond, "Oh that's great! Who is the photographer and what is the compensation?" If they have a photographer, that person is usually mediocre (There have been two times in my history when the photographer was good. I agreed to the shoot and immediately regretted it). With males in internet modeling the supply far outstrips the demand, the compensation for an unsolicited male model shoot is Trade for Print (or TFP, meaning images only, no money).

If I then express interest in the shoot I mention that I need more commercial images (stuff you'd see in a magazine ad or on TV, "girl with puppy", "businesswoman in hallway", "happy couple at park") and then inquire after the photographs that the photographer and male model need. After all, a trade shoot means that everyone gets what they want from the images.

He will then ALWAYS respond that either he or the photographer want nudes. It's usually "artistic couples nudes" but occasionally it's "erotic couples nudes" The difference being that artistic is anything from, "Let's see how a male body and female body look in the same frame" to, "These people are snuggling or having breakfast together, or laying in bed" and erotic nudes always are supposed to look like we're having sex.

I will tell him that I'm uncomfortable doing nudes with male models and that I'm not the model for him.

The male model will then say, "You're perfect for this shoot that I want to do. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I know that comfort levels are important when working together! How about we meet each other beforehand? Say I take you for dinner? We should get drinks too. I can pick you up if you need a ride! And of course I'll cover the tab. Purely business, so that you can get to know me before we shoot nude together. We've got to be comfortable, and have some chemistry together, after all."

As an ecologist I am well aware that "the exception IS the rule" so I hate to say that this happens every time without fail....but it has been my experience that it does. So think me a heartless bitch, but I am here to work, not to go out on dates with male models who want to have "chemistry" when we get naked together.